Test blog :)

soul scream

soul scream

i want to hurt this body

in fact sometimes i want it to stop living

and i don't care if anyone believes me

they are busy medicating

i am starving

they are faking

i am throbbing

oh they wish there was something they could do

as they medicate

and forget

and worry and hope

and pray and forget again

i'm contemplating an end

for meaning somewhere

our secret friends

in between temper tantrums

i am completely still

swimming in the great bliss of God

I fall back into a body

carrying so many

an antennae

a temple

of the most holy

manifesting itself 

again and again

along with the monsters

the monsters 

are friends

i can prove it

just give them a name

and watch them change

for anger becomes healing

lust, understanding

superficiality causes manifestation

weak allows contemplation

meanness educates 

cold cannot spoil

ignorance carries bliss

and bitterness is safety

the monsters we run from

unnamed and ignored

grow large and distorted

and run after us 

over reacting

begging for attention

if only we could see

just a moment

of compassion

would send them home

to transform into blessings

how much we must enjoy

running from them

swimming in the fear 

we think is safety

it must be all apart of the story

treasure of the moment

transitioning from one dimension to the next

feels like a small rickety plane is preparing for landing

in a pristine desert paradise

and neither reality fully exists

the rickety plane or the desert paradise

i am in between everything

i’m high in the sky, coming down for a landing

a bit shaky in a plane that has made it this far

the clear paradise is all around me

but i am still in the plane

and it has not landed yet

it could still crash and kill me

but it appears to be i’m landing safely

the sensation of picking up speed as the

ground grows larger beneath me

resembles piano concertos

kind of feels like dying

i’m  beginning to lean into it

make sure to drink water today

make sure to drink water today
and smile at your face in the mirror


make sure to stop and listen to your body if it needs it


make sure to soften your eyes
even when enemies pass by


make sure to stretch your thoughts
to things you think not
just in case
things get boring


work those fingers and use those toes


maybe even sew your own clothes


today is a great day to compose


anything